Attachment dating style
Securely attached children are better able to regulate their emotions, feel more confident in exploring their environment, and tend to be more empathic and caring than those who are insecurely attached.
In contrast, when parents are largely mis-attuned, distant, or intrusive, they cause their children considerable distress.
Attachment researcher Jude Cassidy describes how these children cope: “During many frustrating and painful interactions with rejecting attachment figures, they have learned that acknowledging and displaying distress leads to rejection or punishment.” By close to a parent.
Children identified as having an avoidant attachment with a parent tend to disconnect from their bodily needs.
Some of these children learn to rely heavily on self-soothing, self-nurturing behaviors.
They develop a pseudo-independent orientation to life and maintain the illusion that they can take complete care of themselves.
People with this type of attachment style tend to be overly focused on themselves and their own creature comforts, and largely disregard the feelings and interests of other people.
They also find it difficult to disclose their thoughts and feelings to their partner.
A second strategy is to suppress memories of negative attachment events, such as a breakup.
However, on a physiological level, when their heart rates and galvanic skin responses are measured during experimental separation experiences, they show as strong a reaction and as much anxiety as other children.