Dating rules bullshit

05-Apr-2019 03:47

It is the story of how our stupid white male egos were crushed, trashed, and ultimately resurrected in a frail, but perhaps more lasting and real form.

It is the story of the Douchiest Internet Dating coaches.

Ladies, no Real Man is going to wait 90 days to have sex with you.

And you’re not going to wait 90 days to have sex with a Real Man.

Little did we know at the time that our Indonesian friends were secretly laughing at us. We were ten years older, hitting middle age, with beer-bellies, no hair and a bank account drained by a decade of fancy living we couldn’t afford. We e-mailed friends across the world, Iceland, London, Washington DC., all Jakarta alumni and they all told the same story: UB40, as the band name goes. Someone mentioned a 2000 movie called the ‘Tao of Steve,” which offered alluring promises.

They were laughing at our vanity, how we got played, and the mercenary and cold nature of the women who approached us. Jakarta, like so many other global metropolises, is a place where people come to chase their dreams. The global financial crisis drove us both back to our home countries. We went back to either small towns or small corners of big cities. In vain, we tried to hit the local bars, replicating in our mind what were the successes of the previous decade. The Tao of Steve suggested there was a technique to the whole thing. We delved into the Internet and discovered an entire corpus of teachings on how to get babes, starting with You Tube with titles like “How to land the woman of your dreams.” Certain themes emerge from these Douchebag coaches.

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And we know if we’re not a woman’s first choice, then we’re definitely not going to sit around waiting for 90 days to be the spare dick she goes to when she can’t get laid anywhere else.

Any Man who follows Steve Harvey’s stupid rule is just going to get used by meal and drink hoes who will get three months of free dinners, free drinks and free movies out of them then broom them to the curb without offering up any sex at all.

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