My x husband is dating
My children suffered through three moves in six months — switching school, varying schedules, and parents with ever changing temperaments.
I can't watch a movie with a mom and kids in it and not cry anymore, no matter if it is a happy or sad movie.
You’d think this would be a good thing, but this change in dynamic can be threatening and/or scary for mom. It’s easy for her to pinpoint presence as being responsible for this. She doesn’t automatically trust you just because dad does. She sees her ex-husband being a different man with you.
But at the same time, she doesn’t necessarily want to meet you. It can be painful to see the man you think treated you so poorly, treating another women like a princess.
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Some just have a hard time adjusting to a new reality that includes a stepmom.
So here is a list of the most common reasons your husband’s ex acts like she hates you. She doesn’t hate you, she hates what you represent: The failure of her marriage, the break up of her family, the woman her ex-husband became a better man for, the fear that she might have ruined her child’s life by not being able to make the marriage work. She’s afraid her kids will love you more than they love her. This could include showing up at a parent-teacher conference, forcing the kids to call you mom (yes, that does actually happen), calling the kids “mine,” posting pictures of the kids on your Facebook page, trying to co-parent with her by responding to messages sent to your husband, etc… She perceives you as overstepping boundaries by participating in events she believes are reserved for “mom” and participating in events not only reserved for mom, but that are “firsts.” These might include: taking your stepdaughter to buy her first bra or getting her first haircut; participating in any sort of cosmetic experience (hair color/new hair style/ mani-pedi day); talking to her about the birds and the bees; painting her nails or coloring/cutting her hair the way like it or similar to yours (even if your step is a teen and she requests this, it could still push mom’s buttons). For a long time she could just ignore the painful feelings that accompany divorce. She may even be remarried, but never actually grieved the loss of her marriage and family. When she looks at your strengths, all she sees are her weaknesses.
She might think he’s being a fraud, or she might think “Why wasn’t worthy of being treated like that?
” She might still be grieving the loss of her marriage while he’s moved on.It’s nearly impossible for her to have good feelings towards you when she’s still processing – or in denial of – the loss of her family. You actually did something worthy of her negative feelings: Are you consciously or subconsciously trying to make her look like a bad mom?