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We analyzed over 500,000 first contacts on our dating site, Ok Cupid.Our program looked at keywords and phrases, how they affected reply rates, and what trends were statistically significant.It could be that appearing unsure makes the writer seem more vulnerable and less threatening. But either way: men should be careful not to let the appearance of vulnerability become the appearance of sweaty desperation: , 23%)!Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.On the other hand, more general compliments seem to work well: is almost always used to describe the way something or someone looks, and you can see how that works out. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The results surprised us: perform better, bucking the general “be literate” rule.In fact, it’s smarter to use no traditional salutation at all (which earns you the reply rate of 27%) and just dive into whatever you have to say than to start with all did very well.It can help your love life, and, besides, if there really was a god, wouldn’t first messages Though this post talks in detail about the content of people’s messages on Ok Cupid, all messages have been anonymized, with sender and recipient data and all IP and timestamp information stripped out.
does help a person get noticed (reply rate 56%), but maybe that shouldn’t be a surprise on a site that is itself named for a member of the Classical pantheon.As we all know, people normally like compliments, but when they’re used as pick-up lines, before you’ve even met in person, they inevitably feel…ew.