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26-Jul-2019 12:36

A tough hurdle is when your kids dislike your new love interest.As you determine the source of the hostility, be patient and constantly reaffirm your love for your kids, Fisher said.Proceed with caution Whether divorced, widowed or never married, single dads have to date with care.That means telling a date immediately, alongside name and occupation, that you have children, and gauging early whether she respects how much time you spend with them, Fisher said.As a single dad wading back into the dating pool, Daniel Ruyter was surprised how many women lost interest when he revealed, always in the first conversation, that he had a son."At first I took it personally," said the Orlando, Fla., information technology analyst, who was 32 when he divorced and got joint custody of his then 5-year-old son."I found it very arbitrary that before they got to know me, they had decided against me."But as Ruyter cycled through "close to 100" first dates and a few long-term girlfriends (a scheduling feat, considering half his week was devoted to his son), his romantic standards heightened in ways they may not have pre-fatherhood.Compartmentalizing his life might mean he's not ready to move forward. If he says he doesn't, don't expect to change his mind.

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(The number likely includes many joint custody arrangements.) While single dads face many of the same dating challenges as single moms, there are some differences: In a survey of 100 single fathers, the vast majority preferred to date women with children, thinking she would be more selfless and understanding of his commitment as a father, said Ellie Slott Fisher, who conducted the survey as research for her book "Dating for Dads: The Single Father's Guide to Dating Well Without Parenting Poorly" (Bantam).

While it's understandable that kids might be hostile at first, you don't want a weak-willed partner who doesn't stand up for you (or himself).

Be wary if he's prioritizing your relationship over his kids.

He broke off one relationship because her dream of a downtown condo didn't fit with his need for a yard and swing set.

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"I think sometimes the women I dated didn't realize that single dads still have parenting obligations that, for me, came first," said Ruyter, now 36, who maintains the blog "Memoirs of a Single Dad" (memoirsofasingledad.com) and recently self-published the book "Memoirs of a Dating Dad."Changing landscape As fathers grow more engaged in child rearing, and courts more willing to grant them custody, single dads increasingly are dating with kids in tow — in heart if not in hand.

' 'They' being Heather and Sir Paul's three children, in particular his eldest daughter, Stella, who, according to increasingly gleeful press reports, despises her new stepmum.